Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
we're chasing vodka with high fives
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
