i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
too bad you live with your parents still
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
