Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
