The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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