how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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