Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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