I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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