it was like his penis was on wheels.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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