it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize