If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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