i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
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he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
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And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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