At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
