i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
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