I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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