Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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