Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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