I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
