OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
