so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
even my farts smell like vagina
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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