i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
