In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?