But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
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