i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
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