i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
high people should be assigned attendants
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
