Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
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