you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Did I show you my penis last night?
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Randomize
