Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
