you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
