He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
don't judge my taste in strippers
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
