Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
