I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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