im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
my poor anus
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
