it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
