Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
