It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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