my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
