Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
