Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
My liver just had a heart attack.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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