the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
