Little spoons don't ask big questions
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
