Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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