based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
