last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Houston, we have a blender
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
