They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
