don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
