So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
