the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
