Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
