There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
