I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
