dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
