what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
and she was petting her beer can
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
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Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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