I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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