she was so not down for the gang bang
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
