Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
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