do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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