More tranny stories later!
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
