Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize