I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Say something about gay babies.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
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Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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