I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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