They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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