I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
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