You're completely useless in the revolution.
Don't make out with my wife yet
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
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