i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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