epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
