Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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