This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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