508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
how does that bad decision feel?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
