Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
NoShamevember. You game?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
