mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize